Maybe it is the chills,
The fever burning my body on and off.
Maybe it’s the sleeplessness,
And the tightness in my chest,
The inability to take more than a quarter breath.
Maybe it’s the agonizing pain in my chest,
My over working oxygen starved heart.
The tinges that make me wonder if I’m going to survive.
All from running way more than anyone should while fighting to live through infection griping me tight as I fight the illness.
Now giving way to things I don’t want to think,
The looping memory of me in the end days
So long ago – as I left your cruel, heartless, untidy mind behind.
Remembering myself in a den for more days than I care to grasp at now.
The dank darkness almost obliterating my ability to see,
Heightening even the smallest of sensations and turning them to deafening pin pings.
Yet, you still believe we should be friends because we are required by man’s law to speak with civility.
So, I’m cordial and enlightening in order to ignore the next treble phone ring ,
Somehow there you are right on time,
To continually torture me.
Vibrating me into hysterical day time nightmarish epiphanies.
I cringe because it’s you,
And roll back over because I just want to sleep.
Despite the memories that still haunt my dreams
Despite the mind’s supposed ability to solve it’s worst
Destinies, encountering-s, fallen fantasies
By systematically sorting them while I suspend this conscious waking reality.
You’re always like a side swipe accident with a car crushing car and twisted irreparable steel in my mind.
And maybe the scars on flesh still ache
Every time it rains now matter how I attempt to
Place them as far away as possibility allows.
I just want the fever to break.
Or maybe every last stored recalling
Side dream gone to aging already.
Even a memory wiping machine I saw on a
Tv show once that dictated the daily thoughts
And lives of men based in only good memories
Until they accessed it’s deep web hard drive for truths
That left them unraveled and undone.
And like the man at the end,
I’d just cut mine out.
Captured Phantasm: Alicechan
The soundtrack of the forwarded telephone ring-