I chose this time how to think about it all.
I turned just a bit to the southwest,
with a wide open mind about my own self.
I dared to even turn half way round,
So I could not see your face.
But I felt this time,
I held on to the greatest need,
I must begin to do things differently.
I wanted then to distract myself
With the western sunset.
Hoping I, amidst the burning sun
So quickly covering every part of
the evening sky,
I could mimic the effect of being undone.
I thought best not to inadvertently
Incinerate every last memory,
Or the love you once were
Before I flipped through a picture book
Of every last endearing memory
I once had of what life with you
Was supposed to be.
Best not to char my own eyes
As if I wanted to renounce
Anything new that could be.
I didn’t want to bury you deep
In the sphere constructed with my own spirit.
I did not want to yet again,
Hold another tribute
In dedicatory euphony.
I just wanted to omit my self
From the catastrophe and its impending catharsis.
Perhaps even with a pair of scissors.
Perchance, I could instead
Clip off the ill-favored part.
As if I were a plant,
So I could feed my newly budding flora instead.
I just wanted to stop the misfunction;
Stop trying to follow my set pattern,
And snip off those withered sections
That make me far less delicate
Than I undoubtedly yearn to be.
Tip toe through the tulips: iamlovealbatron
Consort: Miss Missing You