As the phone rings, I tighten my eyes while holding on to a want for a world much more quite than the one I currently lead. The outside world constantly shunned by a need for soul-searching peace, a momentary silence of the hubbub surrounding my every day activities. This sort of behavior is not always conducive of the life I want to lead surrounded by the beautiful beings of this world. The bad habit of shut down, shut out, and push away retains its strong hold today reminding me of the solitary mentality I cannot shake. Perhaps when the deep end nears, I can laugh and exclaim, I ushered you in so vigorously and righteously with my own choices and discord for this small town mentality. Tell me, shall I be the woman speaking to herself about gossip stories, lack of acceptance, and the inferior knowledge of unity of this world holds instead of the exciting tails of chances passed and weaving trials that drove me to the wrong part of town. Like a made for TV movie, will my character miss the point of the story until the ending reveals a greater meaning so obviously poised in color for all the rest to see. Perhaps, if I were to write out a script no one will notice my lack of grace as I attempt to continue the piecing of my life after desolation. Alas, as I tire, I lose every bit of what I would consider the remnants of what was once sanity defined by mere normal beings. The smile I have now a day comes from a different sort of happiness only obtained from gaining freedoms through time, experience, and vision created from a terrible nightmare. These may prove to be some of the most vividly beautiful dreams set by a prisoner in wartime far away from everything. Perhaps today, instead of over reacting, I will grow strong wings to fly above the desolated, charred earth created by the most egocentric, heedless beings because the ground never really suited me anyway. Or metaphorically, maybe, I will learn to spend my nights as the hooting owl, whose call roused me from my sleep just the other night, with my voice resonating in beautifully rhythmic ways as I decisively sate only the simplest of primal needs.